Spring plans.

O.K, I have written an awful lot over the last couple of days and i think its time i shortened up what i write for today. i cant help it, with this blog i feel i can write and write and write all the time. I mean, its like having a diary that people read, but i don’t specifically know who is reading it, so why would it matter what they thought, and if i know someone has read it, they usually have something that isn’t nasty to say. Thank you. I’ll come back to how helpful i have found this blog over the last month and a half.

well, spring, i think is well and truly here. i Haven’t really got the energy to do anything in the garden, maybe mow the lawn or something. maybe people might actually want to do things with me, like go to the beach, sea fishing, or something outdoors that is also fun. I know there is one person who i would like to do these things with. We’ll see. As the weather gets better, does anyone have any exciting plans? I like to hear about people having fun, i think its best even if i don’t have fun, that other people are having fun!

Talking about me having fun. well i wouldn’t call it fun but i really like stand up comedy. i’ve got umpteen dvds of stand up comedy, i watch it all the time on the internet, however, i’ve only once ever been to watch stand up comedy live and i think i’d like to go again. i went to see Russell Brand, and i think he is very different to what i would usually watch. There is a well known stand up comedy hotspot in Norwich, maybe just maybe ill find someone to go with me in the future. look at me! I want to do stuff! Whether i’ll push ahead with any of my ideas i don’t know, but i’ve got to start somewhere.

lastly i just want to do some same old broken record negativity for those with mental health issues like my own. i’ve remembered why i’m not a very good conversationalist. I worry about what people would think of things i say. i very rarely give an opinion, and when someone gives their opinion i don’t really want to argue it if i think its wrong, and i just nod along if i agree. i suppose i don’t want people to think i’m stupid or nasty, and i worry about this whenever i talk, which is why i keep talking to a minimum. you are very lucky if you get an opinion out of me, after all, all i have to do is say one thing and it could change the way all of my friends think about me, even if it is about my mental illness. It reminds me of a bit of the film ‘Donnie Darko’, in the film he’s talking to a girl about why her parents had to get a divorce, she tells him he has (and not word for word) “mental issues”, he says “i’ve got those too! what sort does he have?” she says (and again, not word for word) “he stabbed my mum in the chest”. Donnie Darko what just trying to relate and it got threw back in his face. its not really safe to say anything i don’t think, i’m much happier just being quiet.

Anyway! i think ive written more than i wanted to, but hey, less than yesterday and the day before!

Tarra!